His roast potatoes were better!

My parents and I at Stonehenge.

My parents already left to Portugal, I am alone again with little Kiko… It was good to have them here, a quiete Christmas and New Year’s Eve. We talked a lot about James and how amazing he was… We visited his grave so he wasn’t alone over the festive period…There were tears between me and my mum when remembering him… I could tell my dad was felling emotional too, but someone needs to keep the face straight… James was always with us… We always talked about him or raised a glass to him… He was so especial… Also, according to my mum his roast potatoes were much better than the ones I made! 

I liked they could see how I live now without James, that even though my heart is broken I am surviving and living a good life… they met some of my friends and they could see I have support from them, they could see I am keeping busy, and my dad even went to a self defence class with me!

But they had to go back to their lives… the house fells so empty now… I forgot how good it is to have someone to share a meal every day and to talk in the evening… To talk about everything and nothing, to have a company for a glass of wine or just to watch a movie…

I guess that is one of the hardest things of widowhood, everyone goes back to their own lives eventually and we just stay… Alone, with our thoughts and memories…

Life will never be the same again, but we need to keep going too, because the world keeps moving and we have to move with it… After all, even us and our lives aren’t anymore the same since they died… I always tell myself every day, especially when I am struggling a little more “keep going Claudia, you need to keep going, one day at time”…

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