I am no more The Grinch…

Is that time of the year again... The time to be Merry and full of Christmas Spirit... Something hard for a widow (or someone grieving). But this year it feels a little different for me... I still miss James immensely and wish he was here, alive with me… But I guess that I am accepting that will not happen… I guess after more than 5 years I would have to accept, right?! Could be the fact of so many changes (positive) in the last few months, that gave me a more positive outlook… I was video calling a friend the other day, an old friend, that already saw me through many things, and she told me that I looked happier, that I finally looked happy again! And as I say this my eyes get clouded with tears… It is true… I am happier, I am happy again… Not in the same way I was before James passed, but happy in the way I am living now, without him, but with him still strong in my heart… Accepting my life is different now, that I am different now, but that I can still be happy… I can still find happiness in other things… In my friends that were there always for me, in my family, in Kiko, in my job and in the accomplishment of old dreams that I had shared with James... So, this Merry Season I am no more The Grinch… I can feel again the Season Spirit and be merry and jolly with all the Christmas songs that Heart Radio (the only station my little sh#tty radio catch upstairs where is my home office) passes nonstop…

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