I need his shoulder

Tomorrow would had been our 9th anniversary... Ceramic or Wicker anniversary... Today was a hard day... he was the person I most needed to talk to... I need his shoulder... his hug... But he is not here and I am without his hug to comfort and reassure me... It will be 5 years in July that he took his life, and in days like today all that pain and grief is as raw as when he died... I know I should be gentle with myself and take a day at a time, but sometimes is so hard... My life did not got better without you James... it got much worse...

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